


In the shadows

by Dulcet_coffee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, One Shot, Period-Typical Homophobia, Short, Slice of Life, slight implied homophobia from general public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27766180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulcet_coffee/pseuds/Dulcet_coffee
Summary: Behind closed doors, there’s no need for false pretences
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	In the shadows

From the outside, there are not many cracks to find in the shell. The public’s general idea of the Survey Corps is stunted and despising, but that is to be expected. No one can love the Commander who ever so arduously works to lower their population, or the soldiers who follow him blindly for no clear purpose. Titans exist, and that’s that. Walls are there to protect them, and no one was ever pressured to leave them. The Survey Corps are an exception of the mentally ill, so let them play in their own sandbox.  
Of course, they still have to follow military protocol. To the blind eye, they do just that.  
The Commander and his soldiers return, tails between their legs and numbers lessened with each expedition. A right hand man walks just so over the leader’s shoulder, wrought in blood and gore and stands a very befitting figure of a soldier’s name. They talk, they shout commands and they fight. Humans with no humanity, rather monotonous beings with ill conceited minds.  
So it always takes the new recruits a couple of revelations and drops of pennies before they realise their superior officers are, indeed, human. And with being human, comes emotion.  
 _From the inside, the shell bears a great ton of fissures and chinks._  
Levi knew his relationship with Erwin was uncommon from the get-go. He never knew it was exactly taboo above the ground, though. Not until he sensed the cold arm’s length Erwin held him to when they walked in front of others, in front of the public and the officers and the brass. The distance he put in his voice, and the lack of hand’s touch. He was never expressive himself in ways of affection, so he needed no explicit warning from the man should he step out of line of the public’s expectations. But it never helped to lessen stress of playing pretend, to look the one man he could actually trust in the eye and put on a mask.  
Sometimes, the game could last days. Especially on expeditions, where privacy was a concept deaf to ear. But as soon as they returned, as soon as night fell and they could be left alone in a room, Levi knew all could be forgiven. Except, it never quite got easier to find the time.  
Now, he stood outside the office, boring holes into the gilded copper name plate. Scratched with age, but still proudly holding its owner’s name. He stood in near darkness, in exception for the light streaming into the cold stone corridor from the gaps of the door. His ankle ached with a throbbing pain, and if Levi didn’t know better he’d blame it on his mind confusing emotion with physical pain. A dense, thick pain.  
He drew a slow hand, and pushed down the handle without knocking.  
Erwin was writing documents, time of night be damned, and was dressed in attire Levi only saw in formal events. He didn’t acknowledge Levi’s presence immediately, but looked up as the door was shut. There was some tired silence, and Levi took a step forward only to stagger with a curse of pain. Erwin shot up, and was holding him in the blink of a second.  
Levi recovered, and just like that, the ice that had formed over the days melted. He leaned into the strong body, and Erwin likewise embraced him and held him close, rested his chin on the crown of his head.  
“You should’ve come sooner.” He heard him mumble, not like to let go just yet.  
“I couldn’t, and you had work.”  
“I will always have work, but I must spend time with you, Levi.”  
Levi resigned to close his eyes, before pushing off the chest and unwinding the arms around him. Though one hand stayed on his shoulder to steady him, and they both stared into each other’s eyes. Both tired, with prominent shadows and lines.  
“Come, let me help you over to the table. We can share a glass of whisky before going for the night.” Erwin nodded behind him, and gently and carefully took Levi’s arm and hooked it over his neck, to support his balance. They hobbled awkwardly, and Erwin was forced to lean forward clumsily to account for the size difference. But they made it, and Erwin arranged Levi kindly to lean against the desk’s counter edge.  
He watched glumly while Erwin took two shot glasses and poured a half empty whisky, glowing golden in the poor light, and handed him one. They downed it together, and he drew his lip at the bitter aftertaste, a burn in his throat.  
“Shit, that’s strong.” He growled, putting the glass down with a clink. “Where are you getting this stuff from?”  
Erwin took the bottle in hand, inspecting the elaborate glasswork and elegant design.  
“A present from Nile, I suppose some sardonic congratulations for winning custody of Yeager.” He looked over at Levi, and managed a smile. “I guess its run its course, though. After the disaster of the Female Titan’s capture, I expect it’ll be my turn to return the compliment.”  
Levi glanced away and nodded grimly.  
“You need to go to the capitol tomorrow anyway though, right?”  
“Yes, hence the dress suit. I expected to work until morning, but…” He trailed off, and Levi understood. He took a step forward with his good leg, but Erwin cut him off. “Of course, you can’t come. I need you to recover as fast as possible, and that means staying in bed and not going off on trips.”  
They paused, and Levi tasted the words with a low spark of anger that came from the understanding that Erwin was right. He would open his mouth and talk, could words be supplied. Nevertheless, he never needed to, because it that moment a knock resounded on the door. In a split second, Levi turned away and Erwin recoiled as if he was stung, and they were arranged in a still portrait of military life.  
“Come in.” Erwin called.  
The door slithered open with a hesitancy, as if it was scared to let the room’s light escape into the corridor. A youth with a rifle drawn against his back stepped in and saluted.  
“At ease.”  
A nod of anxious acknowledgement, and the recruit marched hurriedly across and pressed an envelope across the desk.  
“Sir, a messenger delivered this just at the edge of the premises, I thought to bring it straight to you.”  
“I appreciate it, Private. But next time, bring it to a section leader to read it personally so they can give me news instead, should this be a waste of time. Dismissed.”  
“S-sir!”  
Another spirited salute, and the boy left as quickly as he had appeared. Levi cocked an eyebrow as Erwin took the letter in hand, dragging the paper out and holding it closer to the candle to read. It was not easy to spot, but years living with the man and Levi could pick out the slight tensing of muscles and hardening of eyes.  
“You gonna tell me what’s on there or stay emotionally constipated?” He drawled.  
Erwin picked up his gaze to mentally sigh at Levi, before putting down the letter and running a hand through his hair.  
“It has happened earlier than expected. They want Yeager to be handed in tomorrow.” Erwin huffed a breath, and stared longingly at the whisky sitting just in reach. Levi ground his teeth.  
“What are you going to do?” He asked.  
“I have a plan, which may or may not be going off the rails on what’s expected of my actions.” He folded the letter away, and Levi nodded once with acknowledgement, to let him know he understood. The silence was comforting, and spoke more than words could tell.  
But then Erwin took a step towards Levi, touched foreheads as he shimmied off his dress suit jacket. He leaned back once it was off, carefully drawing it over Levi’s much smaller, lither frame; he put his hands up to help with the gesture. While Levi struggled to fix it comfortably, he saw Erwin disappear from his field of vision before hearing the click of a locking door.  
He watched quietly as Erwin came back, and blew on the dying candles to bathe the room in a thick darkness. The large window behind his office desk still lay uncurtained, though, and the unhindered moonlight let Levi see enough of the man and the lay of the room to not tread blindly.  
They stumbled together, Erwin leading to take account for Levi’s ankle, and pressed him onto the couch. Levi looked up at his face, almost hidden by shadows, but felt safe in knowing that this was Erwin. Not a Commander, or a soldier, but a human being acting on his own humanity for the longest time of playing pretend.  
And Levi joined him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at midnight, so please excuse any errors due to little to no editing as these will be fixed in the morning.
> 
> Please feel welcome to leave kudos or any feedback, and thanks for reading! :)


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